A Postcard From Sydney. (Marshall)

1.
Its'feeling kind of funny, it's December, its sunny,
In the land they call milk and honey,
It's steamy I'm runny, but I'm making money,
People are kind but never chummy,
Wherever I go, I always know, relax and go with the flow
Something has changed and I'm feeling quite strange
Hello to the new status quo
Sydney swings with so many things, I'm annoyed by the waiter that sings,
He wears gaudy rings, the greasy food that he brings
Foster's lager is the nectar of Kings
Create and devide let the people decide, about the culture divide
The harbour seems wide, we embrace the outside
Never deride aussies worldwide

2 .
I was dicussing the weather with a girl named Heather,
Her skin looks like baked leather, all things together, wogs, poms and those lebbers
We all seem to get on her tether,
She staggers precarious her lovers are various,
She claims that she's Aquarious,
Her songs are hilarious she's never gregarious
She wishes she owned a stratovarious!

3.
Downtown its noon, I'll be passing there soon,
I'm cacconed on a bus by a loud mouth baboon,
I whistle a tune, pretend I'm immune,
While he acts like a loon its a faze of the moon
Up at Kings Cross I'm dodging the boss
It's Friday and I don't give a toss
A long weekender lets go on a bender
I'm avoiding the heavy money lender
Down at the Rex, Sailors looking for sex,
And I'm feeling hexed Bottom's up bar is next,
The barmaid seems vexed a man wearing a dress
Sits in the corner looking very perplexed
Sticky Feet to the floor as I converge to the door
What else has the evening instore?
A Declaration of war yelled out to a whore
Slanders galore aimed at the front door!.

4.
Kelvin once said that you're better off dead
If you don't get the thread of what The Beatles once led
He's really well read has a lot in his head
His knowledge of William Thomas Stead is really widespread
But I always get scatty when I hear little Patty
Her cousin is sexy and bratty
When she sings she sounds kind of chatty
I thought she came from Cincinnati

5.
I was eating a peach sitting on Bondi beach,
A swimmer was starting to screech
I said “don't you preach, she's out of my reach”
Ask the lifesaver with hair that's bleached.
My sunburn is sore, my room mate snores
And his cooking I always deplore
I have to implore that life is never a bore
Even though I still miss you more